


you're too old to be so shy (so i stay the night)

by orphan_account



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: M/M, happy valentine's day
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-14
Updated: 2016-02-14
Packaged: 2018-05-20 13:32:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,131
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6008140
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><i>this is what home feels like</i>, josh thinks, a lazy, adoring smile curling across his face as he tucks tyler closer up to his chest and listens to his heart beat steadily.</p>
            </blockquote>





	you're too old to be so shy (so i stay the night)

**Author's Note:**

> happy valentine's day ♥（ﾉ´∀`）
> 
> i'm a huge sucker for love so of course i had to write this big ol sappy piece of fuckery ya feel me  
> (title - candles by daughter)

night drives on tour were long and unbearable, and more often than not, an immense pain in the ass.

as it was, tyler was a light sleeper, and every random jolt or shake as they went over a dip or bump in the road was enough to have him blinking at the ceiling of the bunk, confused, before cursing and rolling over to cuddle into josh’s side, trying to fall back asleep. unfortunately, this particular stretch of road in between their previous destination and the next was in desperate need of some repaving, and tyler finds himself unable to sleep for a good hour, bloodshot eyes glaring at nothing in particular.

he rolls from side to side, drowsily knocking into josh who remains blissfully unaware, trying to will himself back under the lull of slumber, only to be jostled around once again.

eventually, he gives up on the idea of sleep with a huffing sigh. he drags himself to his feet, swaying with the movement of the ground underneath him, and heads into the living area to find something to do with himself.

he pours himself a bowl of cereal to the best of his ability, priding himself on the fact that he only spills the milk _once_ , and eats in the silence of early morning torpor, staring at the ground as he’s not quite awake enough to think about anything. he sets his bowl on the table when he’s finished without bothering to wash it out, and he takes to sitting on the couch on the other side of the room, utterly given up on the idea of sleep. methodically, he stares out the window of the bus as the darkness flies by, a yawn creeping up out of his throat once or twice.

josh is opposite to tyler in a lot of ways, but especially in the way that he’s a relatively heavy sleeper. the bustling of movement usually isn’t enough to rouse him, which tyler is incredibly jealous of, and it’s quite the task to wake him up when they do, finally, arrive at their next stop. however, this night is different, as josh wakes up in the middle of the night with the wonderful urge to pee and tyler mysteriously missing from where he’s usually draped across his chest.

he shuffles out of their shared bunk, feet hitting the floor with a quiet thud, and he almost pees himself in surprise when he’s aware of a presence sitting on the couch. whoever it is doesn’t notice him, and josh takes a second to remind himself that he’s obviously not the only person awake at whatever ungodly hour this was, a hand pressed to his chest as he feels the rhythm of his increased heartbeat drum against his fingertips. he calms his breathing and squints through the dark until he sees that it’s just tyler sitting there, as he often is on nights when he can’t go back to sleep, staring out the window and thinking about whatever came to his mind.

“what’re you thinking about?” he mumbles in a voice cracked and groggy with sleep, and maybe the reason tyler doesn’t startle at the sudden appearance of a new person is because he knows josh’s voice like the back of his hand in all of its glory. he drags his gaze away from the window to focus on josh’s face shrouded in the shadows, shifting on the couch to pull his legs underneath him, and josh walks toward him without being beckoned, pulled forward by some unseen force.

josh mirrors tyler’s posture, cross-legged with hands folded in his lap, and turns his head slightly so he can watch the stars in the sky above. tyler never answers his question, but josh understands him, doesn’t need him to speak for him to comprehend what goes on inside his mind – more often than not, tyler’s head is a dangerous place, overcast with darkness and a sharp, occasionally terrifying somberness, a constant fight between what tyler considered his inner demons, his insecurities, and himself. josh likes to think that maybe he’s slowly helping to make it better, lighting it up with slow touches of the sunshine the people around him were so fond of comparing him to.

and god, josh loves him. he loves him so much that his chest gives a physical ache when he looks at him, his eyes empty and hollow and emanating a dull sort of pain, figure lit up only by the moonshine reflecting through the window.

“marry me,” josh says without thinking, looking over at tyler like he holds all the entirety of the universe within his palms, a love-drunk smile plastered across his face. it takes him a second to realize what he’s said, and he claps a hand over his mouth, eyes wide - did he really just say that? did those two words come out of his stupid, big mouth? he stops breathing until his panicked lungs start screaming for air, and josh thinks for a couple of frantic heartbeats that tyler hadn’t caught what he said, as he doesn’t make any movement in his direction or any sort of surprised notion that he heard anything.

he thinks that maybe he still has a chance to backtrack and learn to think before he said what was on his mind. a valuable skill to have, honestly, a _really_ valuable skill, but tyler’s head turns to him, slowly, and his eyes are wide and abashed and beautiful and earnest. his heart pounds, uncertainly; was josh _proposing_ to him, in the dead of night, on the couch of their tour bus.

“what?” he asks, a confused crease appearing in between his eyebrows. “did you just –“

he cuts himself off, disconcerted, and josh desperately tries to collect his scattered thoughts into a manageable sentence to explain himself. “uh,” he swallows, eloquent as ever (there’s a reason he doesn’t write the songs), before quietly muttering, “yeah, i did.”

“you want to marry me?” tyler’s voice lilts up at the end, disbelievingly, and he shakes his head slowly.

josh tries not to let tyler’s words sting (he’s been through his sudden swings and outbursts of self-depreciation way too often), but they do, like always – he grabs at one of tyler’s hands and pulls it into his lap, taking a moment to marvel at the beauty of everything that was one tyler joseph. he was such an incredibly lucky bastard, being able to call him his own, and he failed to understand why tyler couldn’t see him the way he saw him, but he knew that tyler never did have the best self esteem in the world. “why wouldn’t i?” he breathes out, raising tyler’s hand to his mouth and pressing a kiss to each of his knuckles.

he watches josh’s actions through a warped sense of repudiation, insecurity clattering around in his thoughts as he gestures to all of himself with his free hand and mumbles, “i’m just _me_ , josh.”

maybe josh imagines his heart shattering into fragments at tyler’s words. he takes his hand away from tyler’s in favor of grabbing his jaw and pulling his face toward him. stocky, calloused fingers press against the underneath of his jaw and tyler complies, but he can’t force himself to make direct eye contact. josh’s fingers press upwards urgently, tilting his head until he looks into the beautiful swirls of brown and gold that make up his irises.

he hears josh sigh, but he’s more focused on the way his head is moving forward slowly, and tyler accepts it when soft lips meet his, gentle and affectionate.

josh’s hand drops away to rest on tyler’s knee, and he smiles warmly. tyler can’t help it when he smiles, too, and the light reaches his eyes, brightening his entire face even in the darkness of the bus.

“god, you’re so beautiful,” josh grins at him crookedly, and it’s so intimate and so undeniably _them_ that a sudden wave of heat rushes into tyler’s cheeks as he laughs softly. “tyler, i’m so lucky to have you. i’d be the luckiest guy in the world if i got to marry you.”

“ _josh_ ,” tyler chides helplessly, the newfound heat in his face spreading down through his throat and gripping his heart in a grip of fire. it feels as if sunshine itself is spreading through his veins and sinking deep into his bones; one of the many effects josh has on him. belatedly, he thinks that josh has him completely wrapped around his finger, and he wouldn’t have it any other way. “i’m not –“

“don’t,” he interrupts immediately, gaze softening ever further as he raises both his hands to cup tyler’s face, thumbs stroking over his cheeks. “please,” he adds, voice barely more than a whisper, and tyler’s eyelids flutter slightly at the fresh onslaught of tears pricking at the corner of his eyes. “ty, don’t do that. you mean everything to me – you’re so special, tyler, you’re so amazing and wonderful and there’s not enough words in the world to describe you. you’ve saved so many lives, baby, you saved _mine_ –“ he pauses, suddenly, when tyler’s bottom lip begins quivering uncontrollably and a wet tear drips down the bridge of his nose.

he sucks in a heavy breath, pressing away the tear with the pad of his thumb and searching his face sadly, slowly, sympathetically. “oh, ty, don’t cry,” he mumbles, eyebrows furrowing and fingers pressing tighter to tyler’s jaw as he continues in a weak, quivering voice, “please don’t cry. you’re gonna make me cry.”

tyler sniffles weakly, offering up a hiccupping sob that he barely swallows the last of down. “m’sorry,” he mumbles out of instinct, pulling his face from josh’s hands and hurriedly brushing away his brimming, unshed tears. “i’m fine. it’s just –“ his voice cracks faintly, coupled with another sniffle as he wipes at the underneath of his eyes. “you’re so sweet to me. i don’t deserve you, i’m such a mess.”

“ _tyler_ ,” josh breathes, hurriedly tangling their fingers together in his lap and pressing himself closer, cradling his cheek with his free hand. “don’t say stuff like that about yourself.”

“sorry,” he whispers again, pushing into josh’s touch and sighing softly, hesitantly.

josh sighs out his relief at the situation quietly dissolving, sweeping his thumb over tyler’s still-quivery bottom lip and pausing, eyes flicking up to meet tyler’s watery ones. “don’t apologize,” he mumbles, leaning forward and pressing a burning kiss to his lips that tyler eagerly returns. he follows it up by a few brief pecks over the corners of his mouth and up the tip of his nose, humming into his skin and soaking up the tiny sigh that flutters past tyler’s lips.

his lips linger on his cheekbone for longer than entirely necessary. exhaling serenely, he pulls back to gaze into tyler’s eyes, squeezing his hand reassuringly. “i love you,” he says, and even though his voice is barely above a low murmur, his tone holds all the conviction in the world. he really _does_ love him, no matter how much tyler doubts his words or feels like he’ll never truly be enough, and he ends up getting teary-eyed once more.

“i love you, too,” he whispers, tone fragile, words shattering the moment they hit the air between them. his delicate fingers grip tighter at josh’s wrist, dragging in a shaky sigh. he’s _tired_ , he muses, can feel it sinking deep into every inch of skin and bone in his body.

sensing the sudden shift in atmosphere, josh pats the back of tyler’s limp hand on his thigh and puts on as reassuring a smile as he possibly can at the moment. “let’s go to bed, okay? things will feel better in the morning.”

he doesn’t say anything, merely follows along as josh pads back toward the bunks and drags the curtain open further for tyler to slip inside. sitting on the far side of the bed, he blinks owlishly up at josh, looking almost lost in the darkness. he slides in alongside him, fitting his broad frame into the cramped space and allowing tyler to latch onto his side as soon as he lays down and settles in comfortably.

tyler’s head fits underneath the space of his chin, legs tangling together underneath the blankets, arms wound around each other’s bodies. his lips trace up his jugular, fingers pressing geometric patterns against the bare skin of his hip.

_this is what home feels like_ , josh thinks, a lazy, adoring smile curling across his face as he tucks tyler closer up to his chest and listens to his heart beat steadily.

as soon as tyler’s breathing evens out and he’s completely relaxed as he falls asleep in josh’s arms, he realizes that he never went pee.


End file.
